Read this if it is the middle of the night
It's late and you're still on your phone.
You have been scrolling for an hour. Maybe two. You have told yourself to stop three times and you are still here.
That is what this page is for. It is short. Read it, then put the phone down.
You are not broken
You are tired and the next thing is always one thumb movement away. That is enough to explain why stopping feels harder now than it did earlier in the day. It is not a verdict on you.
Feeds, recommendations and autoplay remove the natural stopping points that books, programmes and ordinary conversations have. You do not need to understand the whole attention economy tonight. You only need to create one stopping point yourself.
Why you can't stop
The feed has no end. It does not tell you when you have seen enough. Each swipe supplies a new reason to make another one. At this hour, waiting to feel finished can keep you there indefinitely.
Do this now
Put your phone in another room. Not face down. Not on the other side of the bed. Another room, on the charger, door shut.
Do that before you read the rest of this page. The distance matters more than another promise to stop.
You may want to check one more thing first. You do not have to settle that argument. Put the phone down while the argument is still happening.
If you can't make yourself do it
Try one minute of urge surfing: sit down, notice where the urge appears in your body and describe the sensations without trying to force them away. Notice whether they change. Then stand up and move the phone.
Urge surfing comes from addiction treatment. Its purpose is to experience an urge differently, not to guarantee that it vanishes. The US National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism publishes the original three-step exercise in its treatment manual.
If you would rather be talked through it, there are free audio sessions here. No signup. One of them is eleven minutes and it is for exactly this.
Other people are awake too
Media Addicts Anonymous and Internet & Technology Addicts Anonymous publish online meeting schedules. Check the next start time. The meetings are free, and newcomers can listen.
Media Addicts Anonymous meetings · Internet & Technology Addicts Anonymous meetings
If it is worse than this and you are thinking about hurting yourself, please talk to a person tonight. In the US, call or text 988. In the UK and Ireland, call 116 123. Anywhere else, findahelpline.com. If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number.
Not tonight
Do not start a programme at three in the morning. Make one small decision now and leave the larger plan until you have slept.
Go to bed. If you want to sort this out properly, the whole course is here, it is free, and it will still be here tomorrow.
Goodnight. Put it in the other room and go to sleep.